what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
