We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
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