he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
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