i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Randomize
