I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
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