Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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