I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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