Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
