your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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