I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
