how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
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