if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I want to be your penis for a week.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
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