wanna go halves on a baby?
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Randomize
