He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
