no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
