Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
