i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
We don't watch enough power rangers
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
