I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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