I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
