If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Randomize
