I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
