physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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