i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Bring me that man meat
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
