just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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