She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
she pinky promised me she was 18
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
