i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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