You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
