oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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