If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize