Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
