I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
