I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
