so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
