So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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