3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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