Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
