what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
