You just made me feel so damn special
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Randomize
