"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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