Whoa Z and x make the same sound
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Randomize
