if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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