So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
