I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
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