My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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