I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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