I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
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