11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
