you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize