Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize