If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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