i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
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