youre lurking in front of me
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
