I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
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