Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
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