Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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