IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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