so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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